Arts & Culture
What kind of world is it with more than one Scott?
Not a world I want to live in.
90FM to replace on-air staff with albino Scotty robot cohorts
The Pointless
thoth721@uwsp.edu
The University of Wisconsin-Stevens Point campus radio station 90FM will be radically modernizing the station with the addition of a new on-air programming robot. The robot is to be programmed to mimic the personality, tastes and mannerisms of current on-air personality Scott “DJ Albino” Clark. The Albinobot is being developed through a joint venture between California’s Robotica Intelligence Labs and the WDMD program on campus.
“The main goal of taking on the Albinobot is to cut costs and increase program efficiency,” said station manager James Priniski. “By basing the robot on one of our more distinctive personalities, the hope is that the transition should be pretty smooth.”
Initial work on the project began in the spring of 2008 shortly after a scheduling snafu led to the station broadcasting dead air for an entire afternoon. An automatic on-air personality not only eliminates the possibility of such problems, but also saves funds.
“By eliminating all on-air staff, we will be able to spend more money on keeping our music catalogue up-to- date and buying nicer things for the station manager,” said Priniski.
Clark is rumored to have mixed feelings about the experiment.
“On the one hand, I’m honored to be the basis for the robot, but on the other hand, I don’t want to lose my job at the station,” said Clark. This was the only comment he could manage to say coherently between spastic sobs.
The Albinobot was set to be unveiled during Trivia 40, however, developers were afraid of the robot going renegade and taking hostages.
This article was written for “The Pointless” - The Pointer’s April Fools Day alter ego
