Arts & Culture
Binge drinking no longer confined to the campus residence halls
The Pointless
ppuff293@uwsp.edu
The School of Health Promotion and Human Development will begin offering binge drinking classes in the College of Professional Studies next fall, which will be available to all University of Wisconsin-Stevens Point students. The classes will be taught by a number of instructors in the health promotion/wellness major who have had previous experience in binge drinking activities.
“We believe that instead of just teaching students the dangers of binge drinking, they should have to live it, even if that means getting their stomach pumped,” said Shelly McWorkoutalot, health promotion/wellness instructor.
The courses will feature exercises in beer chugging, shot taking, drinking after vomiting, drinking games and being a complete dick.
“As far as I’m concerned, this is one of the, if not the, most important class of my college career,” said UW-SP junior Darrell Creeper.
Creeper said that he intends to “study” binge drinking every night of the week in order to get an “A” in the course.
The courses have already picked up a number of beer and liquor sponsors so that students won’t have to worry about the large expenses of binge drinking every day. In fact, with the number of sponsors increasing by the day, this course is being offered free of charge and sections 17-23 will open this spring for registration.
The School of Health Promotion and Human Development has pledged to have a 100 percent proficiency rate in this curricula, and with student participation being at an all-time high, they are hoping to set record numbers in enrollment this semester.
There is already a waiting list for the course and apparently UW-SP students have taken a particular interest in binge drinking.
“I’ve always been a big binge drinker, but now that I’m able to receive college credit for my favorite hobby … I’m pretty sure I’ll get an ‘A’,” said UW-SP junior Ely Tartas. “Hopefully that’ll get me off of academic probation.”
This article was written for “The Pointless” - The Pointer’s April Fools Day alter ego
