Letters & Opinion
High Five: For smart valentine shopping
Columnist
Can you smell that dear readers? That’s the sweet smell of romance permeating the campus, accompanied by the harmonious strains of sweet vocal harmonies. I knew some of you would jump on the idea, but the response has really been overwhelming. I think the group formed by “The Pointer’s” very own Jacob Mathias shows the most promise. Should they stay together past this weekend’s wooing period, be sure to check out Vince and the ShamWows.
I was going to send a Pointer valentine to all of you but I didn’t get my request submitted in time and you do not mess with Rod King about deadlines. You just do not do it friends!
It was brought to my attention after last week’s column that while harmonization is all well and good for showing how you feel, I left out a key ingredient to successful romantic endeavors. I am, of course, speaking of that nourishment of the gods: chocolate.
I hear you asking en masse, is it really that easy? No, my friends, it is not. Different chocolates send different messages, and if you are not careful, the wrong chocolate choice will lead to a long, lonely February 14.
Before you find yourself in a deep pit of worry and despair, take a deep breath. I wouldn’t throw you to the wolves like that! I’ve done your homework for you by consulting world-renown gift expert Breanna Speth. Together we form a super team the likes of which the confusing Cupid has never seen!
The first and most important thing Ms. Speth says to remember is that bigger is not always better. Buying the most enormous box of chocolate does not automatically correspond to the most enormous amount of love displayed. In fact, it could be considered in very poor taste. The midsize box will do just fine. The same size rule can be applied to stuffed animals, flower arrangements, cards and many other Valentine standbys.
Also, don’t wait until the last minute to buy any gift, but certainly not chocolate. Proper planning and preparation are essential for success.
Say you wake up on Saturday morning and remember that your beloved is still without a gift from you. This will lead to a panicked rush through store aisles and a purchase of a large Russell Stover assortment that will sit in your car all day while you fulfill employee duties. That evening, you present your dearest with what you think is your ideal gift, but, when opened, you find you’ve given them a heart-shaped melty, brown sludge. Even if they hadn’t melted, you bought the nut lover’s variety and your beau has a severe allergy. You have failed so catastrophically that no amount of poetry or back rubbing can reverse the effects.
Speth has many more horror stories such as these that would teach you well the pitfalls to avoid, but I told her my readers are a smart crowd; they wouldn’t need endless examples. Don’t make a fool of me now!
I have a really neat contest for you this week. I want to hear your best love mix CDs! Just drop them off in “The Pointer” office and I swear that I will listen to each and every one of them thoroughly. I will determine who the campus’ best love DJ is and invite them to rock their romantic grooves at my next mixer. Are you up to the challenge? Can you make the honeys swoon and the fellows groove? Prove it!
Finally, I know many of you were disappointed to see that I was not available for the bidding at Wednesday night’s date auction. I was looking forward to it as much as you were but I was “mysteriously” eliminated from the lineup. Between you and me, readers, it was no mystery. Avra was acting out. You may blame her. Have a safe and happy VD everyone!
