Letters & Opinion
High Five: Halloween
Columnist
Welcome back, my friends! Have you missed me since we last had time together? I have sure missed all of you! It feels like it’s been an eternity! I have so much to tell you about! Right away I’d like to congratulate my dear friend Jacob Mathias on finding Alfonse the Wish Turkey. I’d love to tell you all about his three wishes but obviously that would cause them to come true. Far be it from me to come between a man and the fulfillment of his lifelong wish for his own pony.
With the end of the semester nearing, I’m sure you’re all incredibly busy. I know I am! I have so much on my plate it feels like Thanksgiving hasn’t ended! Let me fill you in on the many activities going on in my life as we wrap up the first half of this academic year. Studying for finals and completing projects is only the tip of the iceberg!
First off, this past Wednesday was editor in chief Katie Leb’s birthday and it’s no secret that we’ve been planning quite the bash for months. The fruition of those plans has raised the bar for birthday parties. I didn’t know we could even fit an elephant inside the Quandt but Avra made it happen. I can’t wait to see those pictures! Who knew that Katie had always wanted to ride an elephant named Phil Collins? Sometimes I swear Avra is at least half magical elf.
Once the party was over, I had to go immediately to my thrice weekly band practice. After all, the Centertainment Battle of the Bands is next Thursday and we need to be ready! The boys and I have one dynamite act in store for you! I expect to see all of your smiling faces rocking out in support of all the best music University of Wisconsin-Stevens Point students have to offer!
The biggest consumer of my time these days, however, is my training. Training for what you ask? I proudly announce to you, dear readers, that I have been invited to compete in the Wisconsin Regional Competition of the Midwest Text Message Olympiad on Dec. 19!
I’m not sure who sent in an application on my behalf, but I have an inkling that it may have been the work of magical dream elf Avra again. I had always dreamed of being able to compete but I wasn’t sure my skills were up to competition standards, but on the day after Thanksgiving, I received a message from the chairwoman of the Central Wisconsin Text Messaging Order, Ms. Jenna Behling. She asked me to send her, in 300 characters or less, why I thought I should be able to compete this year. I won’t reproduce my response here, but it must have stirred something in Ms. Behling. She responded nearly immediately telling me that she would be honored to have me compete on her organization’s behalf.
I will be competing in the rookie maximum of three events: bulk texting, speed emoticon texting and blind texting. All categories are judged based on spelling, grammar and punctuation adjusted for any current texting trends that apply. Avra has been helping me train by waking me up every morning at seven a.m. for thumb strengthening and dexterity exercises. I am working towards becoming a master of the one-handed northeastern speed thumb developed by sport legend Kelly Kassien. It’s not easy, but it will definitely give me a leg up on the competition.
Before I go to do my evening thumb exercises I will leave you with this week’s contest. The standard rules apply for your responses to this question: What type of sled should I buy for upcoming winter fun?
