Letters & Opinion
Lady V: Queries concerning the male gender
V-
After reading your article in “The Pointer,” I thought I would try to help give you some answers to your queries concerning the male gender.
The movie thing: It saddens me that girls don’t understand our obsession with movies. Movies may be the best thing man has ever created. There’s just something about the acting, the special effects, the music that just lures us in and takes us on a two-hour adventure. And we need to buy new movies! Guys have a knack for wanting the latest and greatest. When you buy a movie that’s been out for a year, it’s just not the same. Waiting that long is out of the question anyway. It seems like it takes an eternity for movies to come out on DVD after being in the theater. Speaking of which... when is Taken going to come out? I’m sick of waiting! And I wouldn’t even consider rotating movie buying. Guys want to build a movie library that they own. Guys like to be the entertainer. Whenever I’m with someone, I always try to make sure they are having a good time. How am I supposed to be entertaining playing old movies starring Billy Crystal?
Burping and farting: You’re right. It is completely natural and should be enjoyed by all. Guys know this but don’t want to accept this. See, farting and belching is something guys hold sacred to their kind. When girls do it, it’s almost like you’re being one of the guys. It would be like a guy wanting to come over so you could paint each other’s nails... I rest my case.
Bedding: Alright, you do have a point here. We do tend to be satisfied with less than comfortable mattresses and pillows. But, comfort = expensive. If I could afford a sleep number bed with goose down pillows and comforter, believe me, I wouldn’t be sleeping on anything else. But don’t you see? We spent all our money on movies!
Toilet seat: So you want us to put the toilet seat down after we pee. This doesn’t seem quite fair. We don’t ask you to put it up after you do your business. Understand my logic on this one. Guys’ routine: put seat up, pee, put seat down. Girls’ routine (if the seat is already down): pee. We would end up doing way more steps to complete the same task. Now who’s being the unreasonable one?
Head nod: This seems dumb and adolescent but it is actually a complex procedure that is instinctively engraved in guys. First, the chin jerk. You were pretty much right about this one. It is used mostly among peers, friends and acquaintances. This is a compliment and a greeting at the same time. We are saying, “I know you and I like you.” Now, the nod. This is mostly used when approaching someone you don’t know or someone older than you. You are acknowledging their presence as well as showing respect. Our ingenious brains require something far more complex than a simple wave.
-ZJ
Watch for Lady V’s reader response on men’s beefs with women in the coming weeks!
