Letters & Opinion
Schooltime with Plato’s playmates: What they should have taught you
Ladyvuwsp@yahoo.com
I often find myself asking, “Why am I trying to learn this? When am I ever going to use this again besides to pass the damn exam? Ooh, that boy is real cute... I wonder how I can shove myself into his life. What projectiles do I have with me...?”
Anyway...
Fellow students, when haven’t you asked yourself these questions? How is learning about the Phaedrus really going to help me in life? And I already know that smoking is bad for my body (thank you, healthy American).
I mean, seriously. We do not learn anything cool in school. Like how to date, interact with those we are attracted to or how to handle the awkward morning after. Who taught you how to gnaw your arm off from your one-night-stand after seeing him in the daylight? Not Plato! All we are taught is what all those funny little organs do to pleasure us, produce Xerox copies of us and, as we all know ladies, bring Aunt Flow to town.
These life-threatening situations should be the ones we are warned about and properly trained to handle. I already know that I am unhealthy and pretty much doomed, so what I want to know is what I should do when someone actually looks past that and wants to sleep with me. Hopefully, before I die. I mean, I don’t want to ‘screw’ it up. This may be my only chance!
I shouldn’t have to learn how to erect monuments from an advertisement- infested tabloid with perfume samples. I am paying good money for an education, why do I need to pay more for a crappy magazine only to find that the information doesn’t always work for me?
Not only did I have to re-teach myself how to play my flute in middle school when I got braces, but I also had to teach myself how to give scrape-less blowjobs. That sucked. Literally! Hello, Mr. Orthodontist, this is crucial to my existence.
In psychology and philosophy classes we are taught that one reason humans are on this earth is to interact with each other and reproduce to continue the ancient race. This, to me, is rather discouraging. Perhaps we should be taught real life experiences rather than how to comprehend, regurgitate and repeat.
Since I had mentioned some thank you’s earlier, I would like to thank you, Counterpoint, for exemplifying how your writing professors have succeeded in teaching you to write. Yeah, right… psych!
It is you who make me, a struggling journalist, look like an unreliable writer. As you may already know, readers pay more attention to controversy. At least make your controversy intelligible and not littered with expletives. And I don’t care what your uncircumcised penis looks like.
