Pointlife
Hulu adds STV lineup
The Pointless
AnalogDead@uwsp.edu
Hulu CEO Jason Kilar announced on Wednesday that the popular online Web video venture between NBC and News Corp would be adding the University of Wisconsin–Stevens Point student television station, or STV, to its available online channels.
“We, at Hulu, are excited to embrace and present in a digital format such STV programs as ‘Picture of Old Main with Text Over It’ and ‘UW-SP’s Football Game Versus UW-Oshkosh, Oct. 19, 2004,’ among others,” said Kilar.
Some in the industry have remained hesitant in embracing the news, citing the infamous false story last year of a reported Hulu/STV venture. The incident turned out not to be an STV Hulu channel at all, but rather campus photographer Doug Moore’s computer screensaver left up in his office during lunch.
“This is the real deal,” added Kilar. “Now we’re sure to get the elusive Toppers advertising dollars we so desperately seek.”
Prairie chicken pornography enthusiasts everywhere have welcomed the announcement with open hearts and open wings.
“This is great,” said Wally Buckworm, a noted chicken lover. “Usually to get great shots of prairie chickens mating, I have to go to Dutch pay sites.”
The Hulu decision has caused STV News, anchored by the students of UW-SP twice a week, to already begin production of exclusive Web content to go on the new online channel.
“We’re going to offer uncut interviews with students and faculty, promising twice as many verbal pauses and three times as many microphone malfunctions and awkward exchanges,” said STV General Manager Dave Polzin. “This is really, um, exciting!”
Perhaps the most exciting news of all is for those who on some days may miss both of the twice-daily showings of the October 19, 2004 UW-SP versus UW-Oshkosh football game—long considered the best program STV runs, if by virtue of its sheer volume of airing—will now be available any time online.
“It’s now ‘on demand,’ baby!” shouted Kilar. “Now, if you will excuse me, I am running late.”
Kilar then proceeded to back into a parked car, meanwhile stating, “I’m rich, I don’t have to leave a note.”
This article was written for “The Pointless” - The Pointer’s April Fools Day alter ego
